Why Am I Doing This?

Why am I doing this?

I ask myself that all the time. Every day that I live and learn, I find new reasons.

I’ve had this creative urge and a yearning to be outdoors simmering on low inside me for years. I kept it on a back burner while I focused on my job and raised my boys. Just before the pot could boil dry, I discovered sailing. Now the soup is on the front burner and it smells good.

In the last two weeks, I’ve produced more creative output than I have in the last five years. When writing and editing video, I experience deep focus, a state of flow that’s close to bliss, and it doesn’t feel like work. I do it because I love it. Everything I produce and say also comes authentically straight from the heart. No pretending. I feel uncaged.

Sure, I have my fears. There’s a small part of me that worries about how my writing and video will be received, whether it would be ignored or judged meanly.

Maybe I’m a crappy writer. Maybe I suck at making videos too. Maybe no one will care about what I create. Maybe. But right now, I’m having too much fun to care. I also figure that if it’s crappy now, with practice, it will get better. It won’t get any better if I sit on my hands feeling scared of other’s opinions.

I’m doing this because deep down, I have always wanted to. I’ve held back too long, and I’m at a point in my life where I have run out of excuses. It’s simply time to face my fears, create, and grow, if for no other reason than the fun and challenge of it. Fear is a silly excuse.

Even though I’m presently only laying a foundation, I already feel like I’ve come home to myself. Finally.

Ultimately, I would love it if my creative output results in the experience of community with fellow novaturient spirits, sharing ideas on the subjects of personal and global transformation, respect for life, and love of the outdoors.

Until then, all I can do is sail and create… if for no other reason than I love to.

Have you left any pots simmering on your back burner? What’s holding you back from turning up the heat?

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